Category Archives: relationship
In a solid relationship, openness is of the utmost importance. When you impart successfully, you comprehend your accomplice better and make your relationship more grounded. When you can resolve clashes effectively, you are building up a solid, develop relationship.
While strife is ordinary, it can likewise be an indication that parts of your relationship aren’t working. In the event that your contention depends on which motion picture to see, what companions to hang out with or who ought to do the dishes, then utilize the tips beneath to help settle these contentions strongly
- Set Boundaries. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect — even during an argument. If your partner curses at you, calls you names or ridicules you, tell them to stop. If they don’t, walk away and tell them that you don’t want to continue arguing right now.
- Find the Real Issue. Typically, arguments happen when one partner’s wants are not being met. Try to get to the heart of the matter. If your partner seems needy, maybe they are just feeling insecure and need your encouragement. If you’re angry that your partner isn’t taking out the trash, maybe you’re really upset because you feel like you do all the work around the house. Learn to talk about the real issue so you can avoid constant fighting.
- Agree to Disagree. If you and your partner can’t resolve an issue, sometimes it’s best to drop it. You can’t agree on everything. Focus on what matters. If the issue is too important for you to drop and you can’t agree to disagree, then maybe you’re not really compatible.
- Compromise When Possible. Easy to say but hard to do, compromising is a major part of conflict resolution and any successful relationship. So your partner wants Chinese food and you want Indian? Compromise and get Chinese tonight, but Indian next time you eat out. Find a middle ground that can allow both of you to feel satisfied with the outcome.
- Consider Everything. Is this issue really important? Does it change how the two of you feel about each other? Are you compromising your beliefs or morals? If yes, it’s important that you really stress your position. If not, maybe this is a time for compromise. Also, consider your partner’s arguments. Why are they upset? What does the issue look like from their point of view? It is unusual for your partner to get this upset? Does your partner usually compromise? Are you being inconsiderate?
Still arguing? If you try these tips but still argue constantly, consider whether the relationship is right for both of you. You both deserve a healthy relationship without constant conflict.
Dating misuse is an example of dangerous practices used to apply power and control over a dating accomplice. While we characterize dating brutality as an example, that doesn’t mean the primary occurrence of mishandle is not dating savagery. It just perceives that dating brutality as a rule includes a progression of oppressive practices over a course of time.
Warning Signs of Abuse
Because relationships exist on a spectrum, it can be hard to tell when a behavior crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy or even abusive. Use these warning signs of abuse to see if your relationship is going in the wrong direction:
- Checking your cell phone or email without permission
- Constantly putting you down
- Extreme jealousy or insecurity
- Explosive temper
- Isolating you from family or friends
- Making false accusations
- Mood swings
- Physically hurting you in any way
- Telling you what to do
- Pressuring or forcing you to have sex
In case you’re in an unfortunate or harsh relationship, making sense of the following stride can be extremely troublesome. You have affections for this individual and have built up a history with them. In any case, it’s the future, not the past, that you ought to consider. Will you be content with them? Will you have the capacity to accomplish your objectives? Will you feel safe? Whatever choice you make, we can help you anticipate your security.
If you decide to stay, make sure you are honest with yourself about your decision. While an unhealthy relationship can become healthy with enough time and dedication, it is unrealistic to “fix” an abusive relationship. Remember, at the end of the day, you can only change your own behavior — not your partner’s.
Another possibility is that you want to break up, but you may not be ready or it may not be possible to safely leave your abusive relationship. Try following these tips:
- If you go to a party or event with your partner, plan a way home with someone you trust.
- Avoid being alone with your partner. Try to make sure that other people are around when you’re together.
- If you’re alone with your partner, make sure that someone knows where you are and when you’ll return.
How to Prepare for a Break Up
You may feel pressure from your friends and family to just break up and move on, but we know it’s never that simple. Here are some things to keep in mind when thinking about breaking up:
- The person you’re dating has probably become a huge part of your life. You might see more of them now than you do your friends or family. So being scared about feeling lonely after the break up is normal. Talking to friends or finding new activities may make filling your new free time easier.
- You’ll probably miss your partner after you break up, maybe a lot. Even if they’ve been abusive and controlling, it’s normal to miss them. Try writing down the reasons you want to end your relationship and keep them as a reminder for later on.
- If your partner is controlling and jealous, they may make a lot of decisions for you. It can take time to adjust to making your own decisions again. If you start to feel helpless or overwhelmed, tap into your support system.
- You may be scared to end your relationship. If you are, take that fear seriously. Use our safety plan workbooks below to think through the dangerous situations you may encounter.
Ending an unhealthy or abusive relationship is not like ending a healthy one. Your abusive partner may not accept the break up or respect your boundaries. They may try to control you through guilt trips, threats or insults. It may be very difficult to have a peaceful or mutual breakup with an abusive partner. Just know that as long as YOU are ok with the decision, it’s ok if your partner is not. If you’re thinking of ending your relationship, consider these tips:
- If you don’t feel safe, don’t break up in person. It may seem cruel to break up over the phone or by email but it may be the safest way.
- If you break up in person, do it in a public place. Have friends or your parents wait nearby. Try to take a cell phone with you.
- Don’t try to explain your reasons for ending the relationship more than once. There is nothing you can say that will make your ex happy.
- Let your friends and parents know you are ending your relationship, especially if you think your ex will come to your house or confront you when you’re alone.
- If your ex does come to your house when you’re alone, don’t go to the door.
- Trust yourself. If you feel afraid, you probably have a good reason.
- Ask for help. Chat with a peer advocate who is trained and ready to answer your questions.
After Breaking Up
Just because an unhealthy or abusive relationship is over, doesn’t mean the risk of violence is too. Use these tips to stay safe after ending your relationship:
- Talk with your friends and family so they can support you.
- If you can, tell your parents what’s going on, especially if your ex may come by your home.
- Talk to a school counselor or teacher you trust. Together, you can alert security, adjust your class schedule or find other ways to help you feel safer.
- Avoid isolated areas at school and local hangouts. Don’t walk alone or wear earphones.
- Keep friends or family close when attending parties or events you think your ex might attend.
- Save any threatening or harassing messages your ex sends. Set your profile to private on social networking sites and ask friends to do the same.
- If you ever feel you’re in immediate danger, call 911.
- Memorize important numbers in case you don’t have access to your cell phone.
For most men I know, watching a game, drinking a beer, and not exchanging more than 20 words in one evening, can sometimes count as quality time spent together.
For most women I know, this would be frustrating and alienating if they were expecting to spend quality time with that person. If all they wanted was to watch a game, then they might be OK with this.
From my experience, as a person who has spending quality time language of love ranking number 2, such an evening would be perceived as frustrating if there would be no additional talking and connecting, during or after watching the game.
If I didn’t know about the languages of love and that quality time is important for me I wouldn’t have so easily identified the cause of my frustration when I was recently out with my mates.
10 years go I would have either blamed them for being rude or insensitive or pretend I was OK with the situation although I would continue to suffer on the inside. And I would have probably expressed that frustration into a passive aggressive behaviour later on. Thank God, I’ve learned a bit about myself in the last couple of years.
Openness is of the utmost importance. It is a standout amongst the most imperative qualities a solid relationship. Be that as it may, not everybody knows how to impart appropriately … on the other hand even impart by any means. Glad and sound couples have this diversion down. They vocalize their affection for each other, saying “I cherish you” regularly and offering compliments. They additionally talk about the terrible as opposed to clearing issues under the carpet. With a specific end goal to push ahead and develop, both of you should have the capacity to genuinely discuss your emotions. Regardless of how cumbersome or uncomfortable it feels, it will make for a dependable and satisfying relationship.
What makes for a sound sentimental relationship varies from couple to couple. Framing a trusting and positive organization takes exertion and time. Also, shockingly, it doesn’t simply occur incidentally. For any relationship to become solid and remain solid, you have to put in some work. The following are a few propensities that will help make and keep up a cheerful and solid twosome.
Communication is key. It is one of the most important qualities a healthy relationship. However, not everyone knows how to communicate properly … or even communicate at all. Happy and healthy couples have this game down. They vocalize their love for one another, saying “I love you” often and offering compliments. They also discuss the bad instead of sweeping issues under the rug. In order to move forward and grow, you two need to be able to truly talk about your feelings. No matter how awkward or uncomfortable it feels, it will make for a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Aretha Franklin sang a whole song about it, so you know it’s got to be important. Respecting your partner comes in many forms. Maintaining a joyful relationship means respecting your partner’s time, heart, character, and trust. However, there are many things people do in relationships that can break down respect, like name-calling, talking negatively about the other to friends or family, and/or threatening to leave the relationship.
Quality Time, Not Quantity
It’s all about quality over quantity. It doesn’t matter how much time you and your partner spend together. The most important part is about the quality of this time. There’s a huge difference between having dinner at a table while talking about your day at work, versus having dinner while sitting on a couch watching the latest episode of The Voice. It’s fine to zone out together and enjoy distractions, but it’s crucial to make sure you two are still engaging and spending quality time together to maintain a deep connection.
Communication is a key part to building a solid relationship. The initial step is ensuring you both need and expect similar things—being in agreement is imperative. The accompanying tips can help you and your accomplice make and keep up a sound relationship:
Speak Up. In a sound relationship, if something is pestering you, it’s best to discuss it as opposed to holding it in.
Regard Each Other. Your accomplice’s desires and emotions have esteem, thus do yours. Let your loved one know you are trying to remember their thoughts. Common regard is fundamental in keeping up solid connections.
Bargain. Differences are a characteristic piece of sound connections, however it’s essential that you figure out how to trade off on the off chance that you differ on something. Attempt to tackle clashes in a reasonable and judicious way.
Be Supportive. Offer consolation and support to each other. Likewise, let your accomplice know when you require their support. Solid connections are about building each other up, not putting each other down.
Regard Each Other’s Privacy. Because you’re seeing someone, mean you need to share everything and continually be as one. Sound connections require space.
Making limits is a decent approach to keep your relationship solid and secure. By defining limits together, you can both have a more profound comprehension of the sort of relationship that you and your accomplice need. Limits are not intended to make you have a feeling that you’re “strolling on eggshells.” Creating limits is not an indication of mystery or doubt — it’s a declaration of what makes you feel great and what you might want dislike to occur inside the relationship.
Keep in mind, solid limits shouldn’t confine your capacity to:
Go out with your companions without your accomplice.
Partake in exercises and interests you like.
Not need to share passwords to your email, web-based social networking records or telephone.
Regard each other’s individual likes and needs.
Healthy Relationship Boosters
Indeed, even sound connections can utilize a lift every so often. You may require a lift on the off chance that you feel detached from your accomplice or like the relationship has become stale. Provided that this is true, discover a fun, straightforward movement you both appreciate, such as going on a walk, and discuss the reasons why you need to be in the relationship. At that point, continue utilizing sound practices as you keep dating.
In case you’re single (and particularly in case you’re a solitary parent), don’t stress on the off chance that you require a lift as well! Being single can be the best and most noticeably bad feeling, however recall connections don’t simply incorporate your loved one and you. Consider all the immense circumstances you’ve had with your folks, kin, companions, kids, other relatives, and so on..
Take a stab at going out with your loved ones and think about the most — watch motion pictures together, go out to eat, take a three day weekend from your bustling life and simply appreciate being you! On the off chance that it helps, additionally discuss your emotions about the connections throughout your life. In the event that you simply need them to tune in, begin by letting them know that. At that point ask what makes connections great and what makes them terrible? En route, in the event that you require exhortation, don’t hesitate to reach us. We’re here to help all day, every day.
Also, bear in mind, the relationship you can simply help up is the one you have with yourself!
What Isn’t a Healthy Relationship?
Connections that are not beneficial depend on power and control, not correspondence and regard. In the early phases of a damaging relationship, you may not think the unfortunate practices are a major ordeal. In any case, possessiveness, affronts, desirous allegations, shouting, embarrassment, pulling hair, pushing or other negative, harsh practices, are — at their root — efforts of force and control. Keep in mind that manhandle is dependably a decision and you should be regarded. There is no reason for mishandle of any sort.
On the off chance that you think your relationship is unfortunate, it’s critical to consider your security now. Consider these focuses as you push ahead:
Comprehend that a man can just change on the off chance that they need to. You can’t compel your accomplice to change their conduct in the event that they don’t accept they’re off-base.
Concentrate all alone needs. It is safe to say that you are dealing with yourself? Your wellbeing is constantly vital. Watch your anxiety levels, set aside opportunity to be with companions, get enough rest. On the off chance that you find that your relationship is depleting you, consider finishing it.
Interface with your emotionally supportive networks. Regularly, abusers attempt to seclude their accomplices. Converse with your companions, relatives, educators and others to ensure you’re getting the passionate bolster you require. Keep in mind, our supporters are constantly prepared to talk on the off chance that you require a listening ear.
Consider separating. Keep in mind that you should feel protected and acknowledged in your relationship.
Despite the fact that you can’t change your accomplice, you can roll out improvements in your own particular life to remain safe. Consider leaving your accomplice before the manhandle deteriorates. Whether you choose to leave or stay, make a point to utilize our wellbeing arranging tips to remain safe. Recall that, you have numerous alternatives — including getting an abusive behavior at home limiting request. Laws shift from state to state so visit with an associate promoter to take in more.
After living in Europe for seven years, my parents announced that my family and I would be moving to the United States. We all looked forward to this with great anticipation. What would people think of us? Who would be our new friends? I personally hoped to be the hero of the third grade class.
I was not disappointed. The third graders all thought highly of my experience, and I quickly became well known as “the French guy.” I enjoyed my popularity for a time.
However, I was not interested in many things my fellow classmates did, and it was hard for me to connect with them. I listened to classical music passionately, never watched TV, and rarely watched movies.
I did not have a common background with my friends because I grew up in Europe. I had few friends, and fewer good friends. In hindsight, I realize I was a bit of a jerk to many around me. I kept bragging about my quirks and thinking myself superior to those around me because I lived in Europe and they didn’t.
I had decided I wanted better friends when my parents announced that we were going to move again! I saw this as the perfect opportunity to get better friends, where people did not know of my unkind, perhaps pretentious past.
When we moved to California, I did not flaunt myself, like I had done for five years. I did not tell everyone that I lived in Europe, and expected no reaction when I did tell my friends.
I still listened to classical music, but I did not brag about not being main stream. I simply kept my music to myself. Nor did I try to become mainstream. Sure enough, I found that people enjoy the company of someone who is not typical but does not brag about it.
There’s no substitute for good friends, and if I had to subdue my temper and pride, it was well worth the investment.
Change happens to everyone. Whether it is good or bad, we have to adjust, and what matters most is how we adjust to that change.
Fighting the change or pretending it did not happen usually creates more drama and conflict, but sometimes we just cannot help ourselves. Adjusting to change and finding a “new normal” is more productive and just feels better.
A Stressful Choice
Making friends is difficult. Making the right friends is even more difficult. I like to think that I can relax once I finally get to know a person well enough to consider them a friend, but I’ve learned getting to know a person is the easy part. Judging whether a friend is the right match for you is no simple task, especially if you want that friend to like you.
A while ago, one of my best friends and I befriended a group of girls who at first I liked and admired. It wasn’t until later on that I found out how utterly different I was from them.
These girls weren’t as sweet as I thought, and over and over I watched them make bad decisions. It didn’t take long to realize that this wasn’t the group for me.
Separating from these girls wouldn’t have been terribly hard except for one thing: my best friend had turned into one of them. This led me to a really stressful choice. Do I stay with the group out of loyalty to my friend, or do I leave the group and abandon a year and a half’s friendship?
After repeating this question over and over in my head, I finally came to a conclusion. I would leave the group and my friend. I realized that while the year-and-a-half of being best friends with her had been special, time had passed and we were no longer a good match. I would also be more careful in deciding who were the best people for me to be with.
Currently I have a different group of friends who mean the world to me. Looking back on this drama, I know in my heart that while the decision I made hurt, I did the right thing.
Lately, many articles written for adults are focused on the importance of a work/life balance. Although teens may not be holding down full-time jobs, they are still under a lot of pressure from their daily responsibilities, and can benefit from finding a healthy balance. School, extracurricular activities, sports, part-time jobs, and responsibilities at home can cause a teen’s life to feel like a juggling act.
If you feel stressed or overwhelmed, it is important to speak with the adults in your life. They may not realize how much pressure you are feeling if you manage to “get everything done.” Talk to a parent, teacher, or counselor and ask for help in dealing with stress using the suggestions below.
Decide what is most important and what needs to be done first. You do not need to do everything in one night. Prioritize what needs to be done early in the week, and what can be done later. If you are focusing on a few projects a night rather than worrying about all of them every night you will do a better job on each assignment.
Do Not Be an Over-Achiever
Being well-rounded is important. However, you do not need to be the captain of the football team, the lead in the school play, and employee of the month. Choose one or two activities that you can enjoy while also getting your school work done and having time to relax or visit with friends.
Set Realistic Goals
Set goals that you can see yourself achieving within a week, two weeks or maybe a month. Setting goals that are too high can make you feel more stressed if you cannot realistically achieve them.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It is normal to feel overwhelmed when things get busy, assignments are due, and the coach scheduled extra practice. If you are feeling especially stressed or depressed, you may want to look at everything you are involved in and see if there are one or two things you can cut out until you feel better.
Be honest with yourself. If there’s an activity that no longer brings you joy, think about whether you really want to continue pursuing it. It’s hard to let go of something you’ve invested years in, but if it’s become a chore with little return for you, it may be time to drop it.
Take Care of Yourself
Eat a balanced and healthy diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. Do not sacrifice your health because you feel you are too busy to take care of yourself. A combination of a healthy diet, regular exercise, and plenty of sleep helps relieve stress.
Schedule Time for You
Set aside a half an hour a day to do something that just makes you feel good. Read a book or a favorite magazine, take a walk, or ride your bike. This time that you take for yourself will help you focus when you sit down to finish your homework or practice lines for the school play. Try new ways to deal with stress such as Yoga, Tai Chi, and meditation.