The Three Reasons to Leave

Ultimately people leave relationships for fairly basic reasons. The circumstances may appear complex, but there are really just three primary reasons that people opt out:

  1. They predict that life will be better if they leave.
  2. They want to stop the relationship from interfering with more important desires.
  3. The relationship is weakening them, and they want to stop the energy drain and grow stronger.

You may recognize within these ideas the three core principles of growth:

  1. Truth – recognizing and accepting the truth that the relationship is stagnant or declining
  2. Love – feeling drawn to explore and fulfill greater desires
  3. Power – needing to grow stronger and to feel empowered

Perhaps the simplest way of stating this is that people leave when they perceive that leaving is the intelligent choice.

Remaining in a relationship with a prediction of stagnation or decline is unintelligent.

Remaining in a relationship that prevents you from exploring and fulfilling your desires is unintelligent.

Remaining in a relationship that drains and disempowers you is unintelligent.

Any one of these reasons is enough to make leaving the intelligent choice. Two or three needn’t be present. But generally speaking, if one reason is present, the others are likely to be present to some degree as well. A relationship with negative prediction and/or the quashing of one’s desires is sure to be disempowering, for instance.

All of these, of course, are judgment calls. They all require the assignment of meaning. Different people will make different assessments with respect to these ideas, but if you understand these core reasons to stay or go, you can apply them to better effect in your own relationship journey.